By now, most of you know my story: I was living in Halifax, had some sort of middle-age meltdown, and traded a six-figure salary for a less is more life in a medieval town in France. Instead of the lofty original goal of cleaning toilets and making beds for a living, I wound up publishing a book, then somehow landed on the Swiss Riviera. I still clean a toilet and make a bed in exchange for three squares a day, but that’s besides the point.
What you may not know is long before I took that decidedly sensible or totally unreasonable (tomatoes, tomahtoes) leap of faith, I tried in vain to craft a way out of my all consuming career. I worked at it for years and I did it all. I hired a career transition professional and nearly inflicted some serious damage to my already addled brain trying to figure out that perfect next step for me.
But there’s none so blind as those who will not see—people who typecasted me in the role of medical doctor and could not envision the diverse skill set a psychiatrist/professor/academic advisor/crisis management expert/team leader/all around awesome giantess could bring to the table. And me, duped into believing I needed to make the same amount of money I had always been making.
Well, there’s nothing like two years of gazing at your navel between croissant gorging and verb conjugating to bring you to your senses. My little experiment has taught me a few things: I suck at French, Meursault wine has no equal, and I can live on far less money than I ever imagined.
And now that I’ve finally realized that, what happens? Well, the dream job rears its ugly head. I make deliberate use of seemingly contradictory words here. “Dream” meaning a position as a student counsellor at a funky community college; a job that makes use of all my expertise and experience and appeals to me on too many levels to count. “Ugly” because where is this job from heaven located? Halifax, Nova Scotia—not because it’s an ugly place but because it’s right back where I started.
If that job had been around back when I was so desperately seeking it, I would’ve dismissed it based on something as silly as a paycheck. Now that I am wise beyond measure, I see a job so perfect for me that I can barely stand it, with a salary that I now realize would also be perfectly fine. Of course that 5000 kilometre commute would be a killer.
Of course if it had appeared way back when and I’d been smart enough to see this opportunity for what it is, I would’ve missed out on the experience of a lifetime, you’d be reading some other lady’s doodles and no one would be the wiser. Both paths have their merits and I don’t believe in having regrets. I’m just saying that sometimes the god of timing needs a punch in the face.
I briefly entertained applying for this job, but I won’t. I’ve just settled in Switzerland and the thought of turning everything on its head makes my own head feel like it might explode. I love it here and while Halifax has many good points, I’ve no desire to return just now.
Plus, there’s that pesky ‘one should consider the needs of one’s partner’ nonsense. Neil loves this foreign life even more than I do. He sees the rest of his days unfolding before him in a country that requires language study (bastard), and I see the rest of my days unfolding beside him, wherever he may be. Otherwise, I’d starve to death.
I know he would go back if I said I really needed to. He’s quite skilled at this supportive spouse crap, obviously. And I may go back someday, but not today. Not even for the chance at a job I’ve always wanted. I’m committed to having my gâteau and eating it too. I know what some of you are thinking: she’s finally lost it; she’s crazy if she thinks she can have it all. All I can say is “Oh, yeah? Crazy like a silver fox.”




A very timely post for me as I contemplate re-employment. You are right, the dream job would not have been viewed that way two years ago. Your new perspective results from your decision to start over. I have no doubt that you will find another equally worthy job with a shorter commute.
Besides, had you not chucked it in, we Finders wouldn’t have come across your blog, and “that has made all the difference.”
I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I’ve thought of nothing but living in a foreign country since reading your book. So keep on keepin’ on! I did have one idea for your future. ;) Now that you have the lay of the land you could do something like my friend Bianca. http://www.italianfix.com Take care, Brenda
I always say to myself that my roads not taken have always led to where I am today. I up sticks & quit my career in 2002, got engaged & moved to europe (everyone thought I was cracked, I mean everyone). Took me ages to find a job there & the jobs I had were just ok. And while I enjoyed living in europe, I was rather umpth about the job thing. Living off your hubby while still in your 20′s with no kids really isn’t the done thing. Eventually a baby came & after 8 yrs we decided to move back to NL & settle down. Now today I run my own small business that I opened based on my life long passion. So life lesson is that if we didn’t move to europe, this girl who grew up in the middle of Labrador would never have lived the dream & seen things in europe beyond all imagination & I would have never had the time to do the things that I was passionate about & to hone my skills at them & I would never have been able or had to courage to do what I’m doing today. And I do have to say that I’m so happy doing what I do now that I cry with giddiness. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that all roads lead you to where you are supposed to be, so be kind to yourself. Do the things you love to do & enjoy your european adventure. Who knows what awaits you around the corner! Happy Finding.
Beautifully put. And knowing what your perfect job looks like can’t hurt!
Ya never know…..that “perfect” job might have included some terribly difficult people to work with. More mind game stuff. I’m trying to give up the “perfect anything”.
And if you went back, maybe your boss would be a bear, and you’d be miserable anyway. So, go thank your lucky gateaus.
Have you forgotten the title to your own blog (Pilgrimage to Joy)? Sounds to me like you really do ‘have it all’. You are one of very few people who have had the courage of your convictions and set your own path rather than let the path set you. Enjoy the ride while you can. I’m jealous.
I think you would have been wasted as a counsellor for college kids. Your message and example of embracing change in mid-career is far more powerful than you realize, else you wouldn’t be tempted to squander it on beginners in the search for the meaning of life. No, you are destined to be the spokesperson for your generation’s quest for purpose, fulfillment, service, and adventure … and the sooner you accept that, the sooner the universe will stop horsing around with practical jokes (community college in Halifax) and help you get the ball rolling.
And maybe you’ve put great stuff in motion by saying “No” (which in itself is a fantastic example of staying true to a dream). Good job.
You crowd are awesome and Vivian, as soon as I win the lottery, I’m hiring you to be my personal guru.
You “had” me for a minute. Pictured you at the Waterfront Campus, the better side of the harbour, and wondered what your blog would be called. However lovely it would be to work with those on the front end of career choices, I applaud your decision and look forward to more interesting musings. Maureen B
First, I fell in love with your book (and recommended it to all my friends). Then, I became obsessed (in a completely sane way, of course) with your blog. Now, I see that you faced a similar career-life question that I have been pondering for a few years. If money weren’t an issue, I would have taken a sabbatical and explored other avenues, other passions, roads less travelled and not taken. However, my choices are limited by things I cannot control.
I both admire and envy you, and await your every adventure with bated breath. Bonne chance!
good that you looked at it. As TS Eliot and every mystic has said, we go on journeys to find out way, eventually and fully, home. TSE said it better…
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
I have to agree with Vivien. Though useful and satisfying, your many layers of wisdom and Mary Tyler Moore cracks might be wasted on a bunch of 20-year-olds. A mild shake-up is always food for the soul but it seems your place is here for the next stretch.
SHOGANAI my friend!!
Love and hugs.
Some of us envy your courage, being to wussy to make the huge changes you have. Thank you for letting me live vicariously through you and for giving me something to think about as I realise I really don’t love my job.
I am always so happy to find anther fellow Haligonian blogger to follow. :)
I agree with Lorraine, the job might sound perfect on paper but in reality you don’t know what unforeseen, make you miserable, challenges may be lurking around that position.
I had the joy of taking a job that sound like it was made for me (combined my 2 rather separate backgrounds (TV and Travel) and many of my strengths into one role. I resigned after 5 months, it was hands down the most awful job I have ever had. It was a terrible company and an awful client (and I only had one to worry about).
I think no matter what road we have or have not taken, all roads lead to “here.” Life is as it should be if you have been true to yourself, no matter how late you have decided to live that reality.
I finally broke away from a job that I should have left ages ago. I am currently in Thailand volunteering and living on a lot less money and maintaining a house in Newfoundland. I can’t believe how many of my friends say they are living through me. I feel, I’m just here volunteering but I guess at the same time I’m doing something that most of them will never do for various reasons. I’m doing it completely solo as well and I do think sometimes that it would be nice to have someone to share the experience with as I am a sharer by nature, so of that I am envious. And when I leave here I’m going to India and than to Europe before I go back to Canada. Maybe I’ll find my dream job yet. Incidentally I’ve always said I’d love to teach French to little kids because I love the language. lol
Amazing!