Marriage is one big crap shoot isn’t it? I mean everybody starts with the best intentions. At least I assume so. Maybe there are people who stand at the altar after paying a trillion dollars for a puffy white dress, 2 tons of baby’s breath, a rubbery chicken dinner and sketchy DJ who has multiple versions of the Macarena and know that it’s a non-starter. I doubt it. I think we all go into battle expecting to win, ignoring the rising divorce rate and positive that we’ll be part of the 45 percent who will live satisfactorily ever after.
Of course most of us don’t just marry one person though do we? There’s a big mess of baggage that becomes yours the minute the words “I do” leave your mouth: the in-laws. Back when I was paid to listen, I heard more in-law horror stories than I can count. Stuff that would make the most devoted of lovers call the whole thing off. You can’t do much about where you come from but you can be choosy about where you end up. If you ask me, not enough people consider this before their nuptials.
Well, I am doubly blessed matrimonial-wise. I snagged a great significant other and a great set of in-laws, or in-loves as I like to call them. They are smart and supportive, the whole lot of them, and they have great taste in books (and hats).
These are Neil’s parents (who will celebrate 50 years of murder-free marriage this October), responsible for raising three fine children, including Andrea, my lovely sister-in-law pictured here. Even my peripheral in-loves like Andrea’s husband Kris and Scott’s wife, also named Kris (the convenience I tell you!) are blessings. Boy Kris took these pictures as he should. He’s a screenwiter and director and he’s even made an awesome feature film called At Home By Myself With You, check it out some time.
Here’s my dog-in-law Hooper, who gives the book a five-lick rating:
And my sweet, happy child-in-law, my only nephew, Haythem. We’re not sure if he likes the book, mostly we’re just happy he hasn’t eaten it yet.
I’m pretty sure I would’ve married Neil even if he’d been born into a family of pirates and jezebels. But I have to admit it just makes things easier. The luck of this in-law draw never ceases to amaze me. I suppose the real luck was that Neil’s family allowed me in. Or maybe it’s that Neil didn’t run from the house screaming the first time he met the lunatics I call my family. Oh as if. We would’ve just handcuffed him to the radiator in the basement like everyone else who’s ever tried to get away.
So, how about your in-laws, luck or lunacy?
You know you have a bestseller when even the dogs go for it.
Haythem reminds me of my Uncle Michael back in 1966 when he grew his hair long for the first time so he could look like a Beach Boy. That cool Classic Surfer vibe never goes out of style.
Luck AND lunacy, I’m afraid . . .
Speaking of marriage, one of my FB friends recently posted this: “Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start off with two hearts and a diamond, and end up wishing you had a club and a spade.”
This is an interesting question you pose. I came into my husband’s family 28 years ago and that included his father and a younger sister. His father and I were great friends immediately, but I am still trying to win his sister over. Well, actually I never really tried to win her over as my thinking was “she is stuck with me” and that is how it was. I just have to be myself, you know. I think in our case, the greatest gift has been to not live near our families our entire marriage. I believe in that light, we have been very lucky. If not for that fact, I am not sure we would have survived. What a blessing for you to have this wonderful family in your lives! I hope I can be that same lucky “in-law” for my children’s partners.
We are all so lucky — I have always, always said this about my in-laws! Like you Bobbi, I instantly recognized how blessed I was. Before I ever even met the McCullochs, as Scott and I first were dating and getting to know each other, I could tell from how he talked of his family that they were going to be fabulous. And supportive, calm, confident, accepting, energetic, loving. It has been an amazing 10 years as “in-loves” :)
“I suppose the real luck was that Neil’s family allowed me in.” How wise you are Bobbi. It took me 25 years to figure out this is the reason I’m still uncomfortable around the inlaws. It’s sad.
Hi! This blog entry ALMOST makes me want to reconsider my spinster status.
Imagine your in-love’s wonderment and gratefulness at having a world reknowned author, psychiatrist, and house relocator extraordinaire as a daughter/sister-in-law!
Heather
Okay, first, Hooper is a great name for a dog – you know, if we ever get one. Second, your inlaws are awesome and third, where do they live? LOVING the yellow Muskoka chairs.
They live in Nova Scotia but the picture was taken at a vacation cottage in PEI (at least I think it was PEI).
I thank the Universe frequently that my brothers both had the sense to marry strong vibrant women! I am only saddened that I do not see them more. As for my in-loves – they are most definitely loves! Kris was raised by strong vibrant women – I guess that’s why he had the sense to choose me ;-) I’ll never forget the Christmas that his grandmother (the formidable Teta) took my hand and welcomed me to the family (my very own Godfather moment). I spent the first few years of Family gatherings thanking them for welcoming me so readily (of course they had welcomed me with several glasses of wine each time). xxo Andrea