You know, it takes a strong marriage to do what we’ve done. As I contemplate the next stage of our adventure, I feel comforted by the solid nature of Us. I wouldn’t have gotten into any of this if I thought our alliance couldn’t bear the weight of such a caper. Over the years we’ve endured many a challenge and overall I think we’re better for it. Certainly we’ve learned and grown a great deal, both as individuals and as people who’ve pledged to love, honour and disobey each other through thick and thin.
This past weekend I was reminded of just how far we’ve come. About a year into my relationship with Neil, I asked him a stupid question. Some of the details are fuzzy but I think we were watching Sleepless in Seattle and I made the colossal error of asking him how long he’d wait to date again if I died. Serious as a terminal illness, he said, “I’d say a month.” Call me a romantic but this answer left me a little cold. Let’s see, a week for my cremation, televised funeral, lying in state fanfare and national parades and then, just three weeks later, he’s buying drinks for some spray-tanned floozie in a sequined tube top and hooker heels.
It has become a long running joke in our house and, because I’ve matured so much in the last 10 years, I’ve come around to his line of thinking. So the other day, I decided to let him off the hook. I said, “When I die I don’t think you should wait even one day to start looking for someone new. In fact, go straight from the the crematorium to one of those speed dating sessions. You could take the diamond encrusted urn and lay it on the table. It’ll look right classy plus score some major sympathy from the ladies.”
“Or better yet,” he said, “I could just put the ashes in a big hourglass to keep the time.” And that, my friends, is the state of this union.
And as long as we’re talking about what it takes to make a good marriage, I had planned to show you a YouTube video (Isaac’s live lip-dub proposal) of the sweetest marriage proposal in history, now blocked due to copyright infringement law. What that says about marriage I’m not sure. Anyway, as I was watching it all warm and fuzzy like, all I could think was if the rest of their lives have as much love, joy, support and friendship as seen on that day, he too will one day use her ashes to time his speed dates.




That’s beautiful, Bobbi.
They say that widowers who have had happy marriages are more likely to remarry. If the speed of remarriage is any indicator of the level of happiness in that previous marriage, Neil might want to consider speed dating in Vegas.
(oh, heck, you know what I mean)
Sounds like Neil has a sense of humor as wicked as your own……….what a great comeback.
Oh he’s the king of the comeback alright
Beautiful!
Your funereal plans sound wonderful. After all that, I suppose Neil will need to find a sugar mama so I guess he could be forgiven.
Oh, sa-nap! Your Neil’s a quick one, he is.
(I can’t believe you teased us with the marriage proposal we don’t get to see. So wrong.)
Ack! I know. It’s called Isaac’s live lip-dub proposal. You may be able to se it on YouTube still but after I linked it here it was blocked.
Googled it on youtube and got it. Very sweet indeed.
I love you two. You’re adorable, hilarious and amazing.
Oh, this gives me hope. A dear friend was just here from San Fran and she has an awesome marriage, too. They move all over the world and have lots of what they call “space in their togetherness.” read: they do their own things a lot of the time and still love, trust and get a kick out of one another. They’re utterly sure of THEM. Gives me great hope that perhaps it’s not too late for the rest of us. Thank you for this.
Lovely to see how much you deeply treasure each other, beneath the hilarious retorts and funereal imagery!