Or in my case, I sit corrected. I always say that I’m no writer, just a person who writes stuff down and there’s a difference. But now I know for sure that I’m not really a writer. A professional copywriter has as much as told me so. Last Wednesday, I received a thick parcel all the way from my homeland. It was an envelope with 280 pages in it, my manuscript. And all I can say is that there was more red ink on those pages than I ever dreamed possible.
Five days later, I am finally finished. I try not to hate anything in this life, but I can tell you that punctuation and me/I are not on good terms. Who knew that I didn’t have a clue about how to correctly write a sentence? The saddest part was that it took me almost as long to decipher the copyediting symbols as it did to make the suggested changes.
I have no idea who corrected my work, but I’m pretty sure that he or she must think I’m a total birdbrain. I had to be reminded that 1552 is the 16th century and not the 15th as I had written. That Bible should be capitalized, that commas exist for a reason. While on more than one occasion over the last few days I imagined slapping this unknown person for creating so much work for me, today all I can think is how grateful I am for this stranger’s wise guidance. Yes, he/she created 5 days of hell but really what was created was a much better blook.
At first, I thought I would be mortified to meet this person for fear of being thought a fool. I mean what kind of ninny goes to school for decades and then reaches my stage of life without knowing basic punctuation rules? But now, after realizing just how much this person has helped me, the only appropriate action would be to throw myself at the feet of the mystery red-penned devil and offer my soul in thanks. Period.
I rather like your unedited style. It reads like you’re speaking it which makes it all the more entertaining. However, nice use of commas above, especially in that last paragraph!
I’m rather fond of free-range commas myself. I feel it’s good for them to get out and about and I often let them graze through my pages until it’s round-up time.
And here we all thought you were perfect. Fooled us didn’t ya?
Oops! I forgot my punctuation!
I agree with Barbara R……I’m envisioning a former nun/teacher armed with a red pen. Too many bad memories for moi. I like “Bobbi style”.
1. No copyeditor expects the writer to know how to use commas correctly. We do not judge you for this. You just haven’t been initiated in the fine art of comma fu.
2. We live and die by consistency. I call it the St. Paul rule. No one on god’s green earth is going to remember that you called it Saint Paul on p. 4 and St. Paul on p. 200 other than the copyeditor. We have to feel good about ourselves somehow.
3. They should have explained the copyeditor symbols to you. It’s only polite. And we’re told to use green or purple because it’s less traumatizing.
4. If you remembered every damn rule of punctuation I would be out of work, wandering the streets trying to catch my own mice to keep the cat fed. Seriously, you wouldn’t want that, would you?
5. And just because we mark it the fuck up doesn’t mean that we judge you. We’re not commenting on all the times we chuckle or admire a nice turn of phrase.
YESSSS!! (fist pumping)
I felt the same ambivalence about my copy editor until I realized the many ways he had kept me from making a fool of myself. In turn, I instructed him on the difference between passed and past. I’m a generous soul.
I do think it’s time to admit you’re a writer, Bobbi. You’re starting to sound like one of us.
I hate my copy editor with a white-hot fury. First of all, when I got my ms. back it looked as if the copy editor got paid per red pencil stroke. There was a LOT of marks for stuff I had no intention of changing. And yet, for all that “correction”, she still missed two HUGE typos (which I caught the day before the ms. went to press).
If the copy editor doesn’t like the way I capitalize the seasons of the year and enshrine the Oxford comma in almost every sentence she should go write her own damn book. Yeah, I hate and resent my copy editor as if being copy edited was a 12-step program.
Although your attitude of gratitude does make you sound a whole lot more mentally healthy. Must be the Canadian in you.
Vivian you crack me up.
I’m not trying to start a fight here. But I would like to explain the copyeditor’s view. We are paid by the publisher to make a lot of changes to comply with house style. House style consists of issues such as serial (Oxford) commas, capitalizations, having the color be “grey” if you’re Canadian and “gray” if you’re a Yank, etc. Publishers like to keep these things consistent from book to book. It sounds as if your copyeditor was working with the Chicago Manual of Style, which is the standard in the industry.
A lot of what we change is petty and has little to do with the art or craft of the book; we work on presentation. But for the most part, we passionately care about the author’s work and bust our ass to meet the requirements of both the author and the publisher.
And, yes, I am writing my own damn book, but copyediting is keeping me fed until I make it big. ;)
You can’t publish a book, with agent and editor, and say you’re not a writer. Period. (sometimes I have to spell out my punctuation :) That someone took the time to correct your commas is proof!!!
yes…the fact that you have a copy editor means that you are a writer. ironic, write?
Oh no, no no. I have no agent. Well, except for my friend Jill who we pretend is my agent/publicist/wardrobe consultant.
A pretend agent/publicist is good enough for me, as it still results in your stack of pages, glued together, stamped with an ISBN number and sticker price.
The blook is a book.
I tried that copy editing business once. I’m not nearly good enough for that job. It scared the bejeezus out of me. My first project had to be recalled from the printer because I left whole titles out of the table of contents! (true story)
Dear Bobbi,
U R A RITE- ER.
Punctuation, meh. I like your style, and I hope the addition of too much punctuation doesn’t change it too much :)
I’d say after being copyedited into a better book, you’re definitely a writer. I mean, I can type all day – that’s only part of the process, right?
Congratulations on taking another step toward holding that book in your hands. Maybe then it will feel real.
Yeah, maybe. Right now it feels completely surreal.
Oh that darn red ink…blah blah blah. I love your sense of humour (humor?) and your writing style just as it is! There, enough said (spell check anyone? not today, ok?). ;)
Well, at least you refrained from saying “kiss me arse”
I so hear you! I spent months last year haggling over words with my editor. It was like having an intimate wax every day. I really felt he was stripping away layers of skin/blood/hair. And it hurt! You are lucky you escaped with only five days. We were down to Australian vs British eroticism, as well as commas and capitals. In the end we had fun, but I dread starting the next book with him!
Great work girl!
I’m fairly golden with punctuation and grammar. It’s all that other writing crap–plot, tension, story arc, blah, blah, blah–that defeats me every time.
I’ll gladly copy-edit your next book if you, well, actually WRITE mine for me.
Don’t cave. Tell me who this person is and I can take them out in 60 seconds.