Okay I might not have told the whole story the other day about my afternoon at the Semur vide grenier. Those who know me might have been suspicious when I said that a rummage sale would be enough to drag me away from a day on the couch with Tommy Lee Jones. I left out something that Neil said to me on the phone that caused me to race up the stairs one leg already out of the gorgeous sweatpants that have now taken root to my flabby arse. It seems that a man need only utter one word to get me undressed: Donkeys.

I love donkeys. We see them around here all the time but always from a speeding car so when he called and said there were dozens of donkeys in the middle of Semur I was off like a shot. And not only did they have donkeys at work like these

but they also had ones FOR SALE!! Now I ask you is this the time to talk about fiscal responsibility or space constraints when a donkey or as the French say un ane (ass) named Tulipe is looking for a good home?

Or what about this one who reminds me so much of me that I find it hard to believe that Neil didn’t agree that we could pass her off as our progeny?

But my favourite of the lot is this little guy. So poised, so agile, so refined and dignified…

I really, really wanted one but Neil (wanker) wouldn’t hear of it, you know he of the great austerity and all that. He just didn’t get it. I mean what woman in her right mind wouldn’t break the bank for a new ass?