Wreck-O-Rama has become Wreck-O-Drama I’m afraid. We had our big meeting to review all the work estimates and as usual we have created a plan that only a Trump could love. Honest to god, what the hell is wrong with us? Are we fundamentally incapable of doing anything on a small scale?
We started out with a very modest plan: open living room, kitchen, eating area with 2 small rooms upstairs, one for us to sleep in and the other for Neil’s office. This has ballooned into an addition out the back for a long galley kitchen that juts out on to an enormous wall of rock and has the world’s most complicated roof design, 2 full bathrooms (to prevent divorce) as well as a toilet on the main floor because apparently I am too lazy to go upstairs every 20 minutes (my bladder and a tea bag, same size) and a full revamping of of the exterior.
Now the house has nothing. Everything has to be created for example a second floor. Literally the floor isn’t there yet. This costs money. These tremendously talented artisans cost money and we have already overpaid this Parisian artist for the bloody ‘house’ to begin with so it’s down to some really tough decisions.
One, we can overextend ourselves AGAIN and hope that my venture into the world of house cleaning pays off and we live happily ever after sipping cheap wine on the terrace of the small but not so simple house? B, we scale it right back to bare bones and turn it into a vacation house and if so every single one of you has to come for a vacation to help me pay it off. This level of quality entertainment doesn’t come free.
There is a truly horrible third option. We decide that we cannot make a go of it and walk away despite being beyond the time allowed to get all the quotes in. Doing this would mean a ‘pull-out penalty’ (Catholics, not a word) of over 9 thousand Euros which is like a million dollars Canadian. Okay it’s actually more like $13,000 but it might as well be a million to me because to pay that for a French real estate lesson might send me right round the friggin’ pipe.
So for the next few days we will be frantically reviewing and discussing all the relevant details while getting hammered (Mom, do NOT call AA, I am joking mostly) to try and come to a decision about what to do.
On the one hand I say what the hell? I came for the big game action right? So motor on and the worst that happens is I’ll have to sell it right? Not so fast old girl, houses take a really long time to sell here so this could be big financial trouble.
Okay then do it up as a rental and there’s a possibility for some income and investment reward. Hang on now my giraffe like friend. After you dump money into the reno you then have to buy furniture and linens, fully stock a kitchen, get a TV set-up going and all the other bells and whistles that make up a lovely vacation house. Where will the money be found for a place for you and Big Red to live?
Does anyone else talk to themselves like this?
Anyway I have no idea where this is going. The next couple of days will be really stressful and I can’t help thinking that this crap reminds me of something, what is it I wonder? Oh yeah, MY OLD LIFE! The one that I moved heaven and earth to run away from. As my mother always says you can’t run away from your feet.
Go for it! this will give you an
amazing education for all the future
work you will do with vacation homes!
You deserve it!!! You have come this far…why stop now!
I say a quick pitch to TLC or HGTV and you’ve got yourself a reality show about reno-loving expats in rural France…..(seriously)
Can you call them please? I am busy tearing my hair out…
B
I like option B, because it means if I suck up to you enough on this blog, I might just score a trip to France.
Sa-weet.
I’m thinking along the same lines as Jill…. these shows are so addictive and you would add so much humour. In fact, I think you would be an amazing host – go girl!!
Unfortunately, I don’t have their # but someone out there should be able to forward your blog on to the ‘powers that be’.
and you would add so much humour – you go girl!!
Option B, bitte (please, in German). I need a place to stay when I drive to France from Germany. ;)
Look on the bright side: for a house with nothing, nothing is hidden, so you aren’t likely to exceed the 10% overages figure, whatever your budget.
There must be a way to stay closer to your current budget while also planning for the future, oui? Can you design work within the confines of already-existing structures so that, if you decide later to extend out the back, you won’t have to tear everything down?
That having been said, if you do ever decide to rent the place out as a vacation rental, the WC downstairs and two separate upstairs bathrooms will be big selling points. If there’s not room for that without expanding the square footage, perhaps the downstairs could be a small shower room and the upstairs a larger salle de bain with two vanities?
And, by the way, we get inquiries for booked weeks all the time — so if you’re really finished by April (heh) and decide to go the VR route, let me know!
It is so much fun to live this kind of on-the-edge life without actually having to come up with the money myself . . . but what about the unspoken option, scale back, do what you absolutely need for now, complete other plans as you are able. You wouldn’t be there if you didn’t already know that you don’t have to have the whole material fantasy to live a good life.
If it were me, I’d go with option B – scale back to bare bones – because I’m as conservative as all get-out. But then, if it were me, I’d have never made it to France in the first place :)
Bobbi, In all seriousness, I would go back to the original plan, except add at least a half bath downstairs. At one time, I had only a small home and an upstairs bath. We have remodeled and added on till my house now wears me out walking from one side to the other all day (and I’m only 58!). However, there IS a time when you don’t want to run upstairs 50 times a day to empty the tea bag bladder!!! And what if you were sick or in back pain? You can always sleep downstairs on the sofa, but you wouldn’t want to go upstairs to use the bathroom! The economy is bad. Don’t stick your neck out. Use the money you save to sightsee, or save, or whatever. I love your sense of humor, and admire your courage for change, but now is the time to be sensible.
Brenda
Love the writing, feel the squeeze and your sense of humor. Thankfully (for you) I have no advice to give, except to say that the laptop is the last thing they tear out of your typing fingers if it all goes to a sale